Isolation

Today a young, successful actor in India committed suicide. The reasons are not known and maybe will never be actually known.

The room is full of people; clinking glasses and laughter

I have thousands of followers on twitter

everyday I get so many likes

my whatsapp is always buzzing

but I am feeling so empty inside.

I have an opinion on everything

my insta is updated every hour

I Photoshop my pics to my liking

I follow all who matter in the showbiz

but why am I so unhappy tonight?

My parents are simple people

I am too ambitious for them

my bff too is a small town person

who wants to be bigger than me

I have scores of work friends

we hang out everyday after work

but I have no one with whom

I can share all that troubles me.

I have to be ahead and better

I can not lose this race

I have to beat others at any cost

I can’t bear to be a laggard

I have to have all I can have

and then some more to top it up

but whatever I have acquired till now

gives me no pleasure any more.

No one knows the real me

no one cares for my feelings

no one can hear when I cry within

No one has time for me

I myself have completely lost touch

with the person I actually was.

I want to lie down for a while

I want to cry my heart out tonight

I want to scream and be heard

I want answers to my whys

But most of all I want to be just me

I am tired of not being me

I want to curl up and die.