Whither inner calm! (Espinela)

(From Pexel)

Is existence a bluff figment,
an illusionary vision?
Stillness a quietus pigment
Making all frayed fringes glisten.

Tranquillity has no remnant
The vast swathes of cacophony
(No harmony, no symphony)
Envelope in clamourous waves
All cryptic nuances escape
Blame the inner disharmony!

This is an Espinela, inspired by The Mouse.

Day after day

(From Pexel)

Tired of the congeries of compromise
night pauses haltingly
to collapse within itself
the miracle of solitude
no longer thrills her
sceptic memories lie frozen
in the limbo between shadows and reality
gathering its tattered skirt
lined with despair
she makes way for another day
fresh faced, happy draped in an amber glow
he arrives on the wings of a birdsong
but the rigmarole of humdrum routine
leaves grey smudges under his eyes
needless to say he
realises too late he is just
like a suggestion of the previous day.


In the ever changing kaleidoscope of life
greys crowded out all the vivid hues
colours bled from my luxuriant dreams
leaving them dully monochromed

dizzying joy, quirky warmth and undying passion 
were the gifts bestowed on me
I floated dandelion like on the soft breeze of contentment

as a parting gift
the heartbreak that was unexpectedly tossed my way
shattered me beyond repair
closing all doors on me

I gather my fragmented self decisively
I acclimatise myself to the cloudy climes
getting ready to take a plunge
into the uncertain ocean of living again
learning to dance with the rains

these days storms sustain my resilient heart.




As I stumble again over my tangled shoelaces
wondrous memories light up the canvas of youth
time is fluid and my mind lucid
as I ramble through the lanes of past
a hint of the fragrance of carefree laughter
causes a lump in my throat that refuses to go
the freaky four they called us behind our back
our strangeness, the elephant in the room
nobody had the courage to address
we were unstoppable
no kakorrhaphiophobia, no feeling of insufficiency
my clumsiness never an issue
secure in each others’ quaintness
world warriors we were
then fate spun a whirlwind so intense
scattered across the globe we lie
the magnet of uniqueness keeping us aligned
I wipe my tears with a sigh hoping to see them before I die.




The stirrings were intense

leaving my stomach in a churn

my cheeks damp and my heart all overflowing

When I land there, I am taken aback

I tell my smote heart to not lose it

to my consternation my clothes are all wrong

I had tried to dress the traditional way

but the way I carry them makes me stand out

the syllables that proudly roll off my tongue

though similar to theirs

have an alien accent even to my own ears!

the sights, the sounds which I had imagined

had pulled my strings all these years

now leave me strangely uncomfortable and rueful

my crinkling of nose and exasperated sighs

though smothered, are frowned upon

the whispering behind my back is hard to miss

I smile awkwardly

gulping the too sweet milky tea hastily

scalding my tongue and heart

I long to go back

but that home is also not home

all these years that I have spent

have stayed as an outsider,

standing on the periphery never belonging

tethered to the memories of my supposed roots

and now I stand exposed

floating in a limbo

not sure where home is.

Ragtag Daily Prompt Saturday: Hiraeth

Night magic

After a day of fiercely staring at the earth

the sun tiredly sinks down the horizon

Luna yawns and fumbles to wakefulness

emerging from behind a curtain of wispy clouds

she gently shoos them away to reclaim her space

Rearranging the gown of darkness to amplify her glow

she calls to order the unruly glittering glowworms

As they fall in place, the orris orb owns the sky wholly again

Her limpid, luminous light shimmers with a gleam of platinum

Lying languidly on the inspired carpet of cobalt blue

deviating from the usual transcript, in keeping with her

magical, misty, moody and mercurial nature, the moon gets mischievous

sprinkling her fairy dust, calling young lovers nigh

She stretches delicately, extending fingers of moonbeams

her silver tendrils entwining their nubile souls

Satisfied with her successful shenanigans

she winks conspiratorially at her coruscating comrades

then retires gracefully to cede place to the sun.


Not just another tree

When you turned the corner yesterday, I realised,
a part of me left with you
I have seen your tears, heard your rants and felt your frustrations
drunk on your happiness when you returned home,
I have seen the spring in your step
never oblivious to your joys!

You always stopped by when you were burdened
and poured out your anguish to me
the low marks, not being selected to the football team,
broken heart and a not so good job
I have been a witness to all
I asked no questions nor offered solace
you wanted to hear no platitudes,
your tirade directed against the world
I quietly absorbed!

I may be just a tree on the side of the road
but you often stopped by to swing on my boughs
as sunlight filtered through my verdant leaves
to run your fingers across my gnarled trunk
and get your knees skinned at your umpteen attempts to reach the topmost branch
how can I forget the games you played on me and around me as a kid!

Before you embark on a new path
you stopped one last time
to feel life pulsating within this old bark,
like many others before you,
I bear the imprint of your palms on my soul.
come around with your kids some time in the future
the thought of playing with them will sustain me.


Not so supermanly but humanly

Soaring temperatures, sweltering heat
Two lonely old superheroes out on the street
No sign of rain and the infernal capes
Looking for something cooling, whatever it takes!
They spy an ice candy man and shout with guttural glee
Startling the poor man and making him flee
Slurping on the ice cream with obvious relish
Doing foolish things can be so delish!




The whirlwind of his words
though expected, always knocks me down
leaving my knees weak and wobbly
scattering my composure like a bundle of straw
the slurry of alcohol and contumelious derision
pours forth contemptuously
from his frothy, sneering mouth
the tar black viscosity of toxicity
crushes me with the ferocity of a ton of bricks
then dribbles down deep into my denuded heart
corroded and misshapen beyond recognition
creating a stygian worthlessness
tongue tied and petrified, I stand rooted
facing the obnoxious aural onslaught
spleen spent, he staggers away
my timorous soul wrings it hands
bemoaning the lack of courage at disposal
but promising resolution in future
which, in truth, eludes with regularity every time.


I am learning

I am learning after an age it is difficult to bend
I am learning some relationships I need not mend

I am learning life flows irrespective of me
I am learning sometimes it’s best to just be

I am learning I have become a sum of all expectations
I am learning not all actions require knee-jerk reactions

I am learning I can lurk in the shadows
I am learning I can miss a few curve balls life throws

I am learning unlearning is an improvement
I am learning moving sideways is also a movement

I am learning to champion causes close to my heart
I am learning to not bother about the popularity chart

I am learning stopping and leaning is alright
I am learning the sun needn’t always be bright

I am learning to allow life to overwhelm me
I am learning chaos allows me to thrive and be me

I am learning life is not a sumptuously laid banquet
I am learning it is often better as a picnic laid on a blanket

I am learning to not dictate all my words all the time
I am learning to flow with them oft times

I am learning to undress the metaphors of life
I am learning it’s okay to unravel a bit in strife

I am learning to keep things simple relatively
I am learning I have outgrown the need for complexity

I am learning to bench some irrelevant thoughts
I am learning I may not always be able to connect the dots

I am learning numbers really don’t matter
I am learning to happily trade them for chatter

I am learning having most follows could be a dubious distinction
I am learning to un-follow some without compunction

I am learning I am surely no atlas
I am learning I can live without all the fuss

I still have to learn to stop when the going is good
and not push my luck too far that I am misunderstood!

VJ’s Weekly Challenge: I’m learning…


Eugi’s Weekly Prompt – Champion – February 18, 2021