When it rains…

When it rains after a long dry spell,
it is hot and humid and stifling
the rain only seems to be interested in a fling with the earth
the water sizzles away even before falling on the ground
vanishes mistily from parched leaves
leaving them steaming behind
the roots remain thirsty as ever, wanting more
but getting none of the promised moisture
the sun reappearsĀ  in all its blazing glory
and the wait begins, again.

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Periphery

Have you ever felt

helplessness and hopelessness

take control of your existence

no, not occasionally,

but every single day of your life

sticky and gooey; covering you from head to toe

seeping into your soul

have you ever been fed

a steady diet of disdain and insults

it tastes so bitter that your tastebuds die

and you can taste bile

topped by a cocktail of abuse and violence

a combination so potent

killing your appetite

that you never realise

you have slept on an empty stomach

have you ever been denied

even a scintilla, a smidgen of hope

to escape the life of drudgery

no chance of flight of freedom

if you have never felt like this

then you have no clue

how the marginalized live or feel

unseen, unheard and totally ignored

to exist on the very periphery of life

is worse than death itself.

A foolish notion

“Your religion or mine,” inflamed more passions

than a night together could have

we refused to meet halfway

and thus sworn enemies forever,

we set out to decimate not just each other

but everyone who seemed to be on the opposing side

I wish for one night,

only one,

we could have discarded religion like clothes

counted each others’ ribs

and run our hands over each others scarred hearts

then under the canopy of stars

that is neither your nor mine

in the soft moonlight that shines equally on us

had laid on the grass which does not protest

whether you step on it or I

and read out verses to each other from our scriptures

and marvelled at the beauty of similarity in difference

and buried forever the books that divided us

and saved us from religion

maybe then…

but I am a fool and this

a foolish notion!!

Equality mumbo-jumbo

In the hierarchy of everything

social to religious, political to domestic

I am always given the short shrift

ain’t I a woman, I am chided

I have no rights in the scheme of things

the advocates of equality

gloss over everyday inequalities

calling them minor blips

when I raise my voice, I am gently

but decisively reminded

disturbing the serene albeit

murky waters of status quo

will leave me sullied and muddied

but they don’t know

I have never shied from getting my hands dirty.

Separation

You were always the Mr. Perfectionist ; ordered and meticulous

but the day you left, you were in such a hurry

that you remembered only to pry away your heart from me,

that you also took away my heart, is of no consequence,

my heart any way was of no use to me

as it was meant to beat only for you (but I digress)

I find signs of you scattered all around

in folded laundry, crammed drawers,

old shoe boxes and the medicine cabinet

the raw hole beneath my ribs where your heart resided

has become a cesspool of aching memories

every time a thought gets snagged on its jagged edge

I begin to unravel…

the unfulfilled dreams still smolder somewhere in my eyes

the unkept promises hang in limbo arms akimbo

unquantifiable desires burn my skin with crackling reminiscences

unrequited love is such a cruel monster

it refuses to heed my plaintive cries for release

knowing you has become such a conundrum for me

whether I continue to hate you or love you

you are always with me

under my skin, in my thoughts

invading every space I inhabit

I await my release.

To be me

That day, tired of years of posturing,

when I decided not to be answerable to you or to the world

I rediscovered my authentic self;

shorn of all the trappings of being the most likeable

blinded by my urge to merge,

I had moulded my soul and blended my body

but it was becoming endlessly torturous to rein in myself

my acerbic tongue that you had tied in a love knot

freed itself to speak the language it was meant to

I do hope you understand that

if I am not acceptable the way I am, then I cease to be

let me be echt.