
I must go in for the fog is rising:
she says, a tad weakly, clutching his hand.
through clenched teeth he hisses, playfully winking:
the fog rises and falls like hourglass sand!
Though in delirium, she glares at him:
I have no will to continue living
not being melodramatic or grim
I scarce can breathe, for sure I am dying!
You spoilt my perfect last words: she does pout.
His eyes dance merrily, his voice is gruff:
get up my drama queen, go on, get out!
Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!
Written for dVerse poetics. Today’s host, Laura says:
Select ONE phrase from these famous departing words
- “All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain” -Roy Batty, Blade Runner
- “My battery is low and it’s getting dark” – Mars rover ‘Opportunity’
- “A certain butterfly is already on the wing.” Vladimir Nabokov
- “I must go in for the fog is rising” Emily Dickinson
- “Ah! The times were good! It was I who was so unhappy”. Sophie Arnould, French operatic soprano
- “My anchor is well cast, and my ship, though weather-beaten, will outride the storm” Samuel Hopkins, theologian
- “Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.” Karl Marx
Then using your chosen phrase:-
- Write a ‘deathbed’ poem of your own imagination (time and place optional!)
- It does not have to pertain to the author of your chosen words but can do
- You could include backstory, personality, remembrances, other people present
- Make it sad, funny, sudden, expected, personal or remote
- read Billy Collins’ “Deathbeds” poem – it sets all sorts of scenes
Your poem may take any form and that includes a prose poem
OR (for those who like an extra challenge)
Write in elegiac stanzas i.e quatrains with the rhyme scheme ABAB written in iambic pentameter.
Oh Punam, darkly harsh — but riveting piece. Strong write my friend.
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Quite like death, isn’t it! Thanks so much, Rob.
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no peace there at her ending – the quote from Marx is like a slap in the face and he is so cynical
“the fog rises and falls like hourglass sand!”. Bravo for putting a unique slant on the prompt
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I am glad you liked it, Laura. Didn’t want to write a maudlin piece. Thank you so much.
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Well that is quite a grim ending. Will his eyes dance merrily with our last breaths?
I love the poetry form as well specially the line:
the fog rises and falls like hourglass sand!
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Thanks so much, Grace.
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enjoyed your casual humorous take on this one sis! Some couples are like that 😉
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So they are. We give death undue importance at times. Thanks, sis.
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it’s a natural conclusion of life … how are you?
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Hi Kate. I am okay. Life has kept me so busy these last couple of months. I am gradually able to catch my breath. Thanks for asking.
How are you, sis?
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sending you an email, it’s all good, just busy doing my own thing 🙂
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Great. Checking now. 🙂
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Quite a tragedy ending, but as they all would look at it this way… Reality bites! Not everyone gets a happy ending.
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No, not everyone does. Thanks for reading.
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Youre welcome
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Oh wow! Excellent and intriguing poem Punam.
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Thanks a lot, Sadje.
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My pleasure, always
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Oh so beautiful and the last bit….The clincher
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Thanks a lot, Shiwani. Glad you enjoyed it.
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I felt like she was having a conversation with Death… He is rather hard hearted and doesn’t have time to waste on last words or dramatic death. So well done!
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Thanks, Val.
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I like the way you framed your poem with the quotes. Very effective. (K)
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Thanks a lot, Kerfe.
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very challenging. i can’t help asking if she is really dying or just avoiding something?
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It could be whatever the reader thinks or makes of it.
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“Hello darkness my old friend” feels here dear Punam.
Riveting imageries. Deeply devastating in some ways.
Have a playful week, now my friend as you bid this darkness adieu. 🙂
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Thanks so much, dear Natasha. Darkness has a habit of coming back but it is best to make the most of the time it is away. 🙂
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Enjoyed your write, Ma’am. It’s a fun take. 🙂
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Glad you enjoyed it, Aishwarya. Thank you. 🙂
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This is so intresting and well written! Enjoyed reading this ❤
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Thanks a lot, Jahnavi. ❤️
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Seems the drama queen has worn out her welcome. Brilliant piece, Punam! Bravo!
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So it does seem! Thanks a lot, Eugi.
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So good Punam. You know I love dark.
(A lit mag for you. It’s new, called Dark winter mag. Do try it. The editor is a fellow blogger, very friendly and approachable. Likes both dark and humorous and is not demanding at all.)
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Thanks a lot, Bo. Thanks for the recommendation too.
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Welcome.
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This is deliciously dark and riveting, Punam! Wow! ❤️❤️
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Thanks a lot, Sanaa. Glad you enjoyed it. ❤️❤️
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Enjoyed your lovely poem, Punam 🙏🏼
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Thanks, dear Kamal. 🙏🏼
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Welcome dear Punam 🙏🏼
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“the fog rises and falls like hourglass sand!” Amazing imagery and feelings, Punam. A powerful write. ❤️
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Jeff, thank you! Much appreciated. ❤️
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You’re welcome, Punam! Always. ❤️
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Well done with your imagery Punam! 💖💖
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Thanks so much, dear Cindy! ❤️❤️
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You’re so welcome.
Good to see you back-;)💕
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❤️❤️ catching up soon 🏃🏃😅😅
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by the seat of your pants or at least that’s me.. 😂😂 no rush!
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