
The green, moist moss of loneliness in my chest
supine leaves whisper unsung songs
The whispered songs follow me in my dreams
blistering pearls fall freely from the eyes
Blistering pearls falling with thundering noise
leaving razor thin cuts where they fall
Razor thin bloodless cuts left by angry words
pain rises like irate welts all across my body
Irate welts pulse like the vein in my neck
beating, beating, beating waiting for respite
Beating, beating down the door
desultory despair comes looking for shelter
Shelter seeking despair finds welcoming home in
the green, moist moss of loneliness in my chest

Today’s NaPoWriMo challenge is to write a “duplex.” A “duplex” is a variation on the sonnet, developed by the poet Jericho Brown. Here’s one of his first “Duplex” poems, and here is a duplex written by the poet I.S. Jones. Like a typical sonnet, a duplex has fourteen lines. It’s organized into seven, two-line stanzas. The second line of the first stanza is echoed by (but not identical to) the first line of the second stanza, the second line of the second stanza is echoed by (but not identical to) the first line of the third stanza, and so on. The last line of the poem is the same as the first.
This is so heartbreaking and beautifully done, Punam. You’ve moved me 💕🙂
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Harmony, thanks a lot. ❤️
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💖
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That circle of anguish!
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Ah, yes. It can be relentless at times.
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True.
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Undeniable that something is beautifully written when all you want to do is reach out with a huge hug after reading.
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Aww! You made my day. Consider yourself hugged.
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Thanks! 😊
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Again, amazing job done ✨
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Thanks so much, Komal. 🙏🏼
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🌻💕 Always 💕🌻
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Why is it that pain also feels beautiful when it comes from your pen Punam?
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Radhika, how lovely of you to say so! Thanks so much, my dear. ❤️
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Such a poignant poem Punam. Beautifully written.
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Thanks a lot, Sadje.
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Always my pleasure
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It’s heartbreaking.
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Thanks, Deepak.
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Oh, I’ll asphyxiation that loneliness. In the meantime let me tell you how gorgeous this write is. Profound. Made me sad but made me happy too. Keep going. xoxo
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Selma, your comment made me happy! Thank you.
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Brilliant! I love the way the lines interlace and the amount of sorrow that seeps from each couplet!!
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Thanks so much, Val. The form did seem a bit difficult but I think I managed to stay true to the form.
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Once again, you’ve captured despair. (K)
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Thanks a lot, Kerfe. I seem to have turned on a tap from where it keeps dripping.
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Hopefully someone is there to help you catch it.
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Thankfully there is. ❤️
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I’m glad.
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“The green moist loneliness” is such a compelling image. Beautifully done.
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Thank you so much.
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Such a poignant poem, Punam. Very nicely composed.
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Thanks so much, Kamal. 🙏🏼
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Always welcome dear Punam 🙏🏼😊
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Ah! For loneliness. It’s a strange thing that pain when defined in words becomes beautiful.
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No wonder we write about pain so often.
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💜🦋
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❤️🌷
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Oh my, this gripped me with some gloom, dear Punam. A good write with the best message it is still. 💗
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Lamittan, so kind of you! Thank you.
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Most welcome, my friend. Alwayd. 💗💗
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I find the idea of blistering pearls very interesting.
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Thanks, Maria.
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master wordsmithing, love the poignant analogy!
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Thanks a lot, sis.
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Exquisitely painful. Beautiful write, Punam. ❤️
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Jeff, thanks so much. ❤️
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You’re welcome, Punam. Always. ❤️
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‘Despair finds home in the green moist moss of my chest’ – beautifully poignant expression of anguish, Punam.
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Smitha, thanks a lot.
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I find loneliness also to be green ~
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Thanks for sharing that. I was hesitant about writing it.
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‘the green, moist moss of loneliness’ is such a powerful image, Punam! ❤️
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Thanks a lot, Ingrid. 🙏🏼
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Beautiful and poignant words, Punam. 💖
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Thanks a lot, Eugi!❤️
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You’re welcome, Punam!
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This is so intense it is even hard to handle….probably the most intense of your poetry I have read…the one before this hard a razor hard edge, but this one can cut…..stunning. That loneliness, yes…….
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I know, this went much darker than I wanted but I posted it anyway. I guess it has more to do with external factors than with any thing I am personally going through. Though loneliness does engulf from time to time. Thanks so much, Ain. Much appreciated.
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Loneliness described as moss is so very good… to me, there is a weight of the green carpet that immobilize the victim makes think of thickness and paralysis
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Yes, that paralyzing weight can be so heavy to bear.
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So vivid. Those cuts and the despair. I could really feel this, Punam.
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Not a good place to be, Merril, but we have all experienced it at some time or the other.
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Yes, sadly.
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A very interesting poetry form which highlights the emotional pain by repetition and tying all the lines together. I felt the beating and the pain – hope it bears fruit in the green..
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Indeed a very interesting form, Grace, though I think I have not followed the rules strictly.
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Punam, it’s been a minute since I last read you. 🙂 Mostly my fault for being inactive, but I always enjoy circling back to your work. I love this piece. It underscores anguish and mental health greatly, and how loneliness impacts the psyche that any bit of refuge or welcoming is uplifting, even if only a little. It delineates the pain and struggle of such individual well. The repetition was also very effective and hard-hitting, especially with the vulnerability in what revealing our neck shows. Beautifully written and even more so with the implicit imagery underlying. ❤
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Lucy, it is so wonderful to read your comment. Sometimes we need to be inactive to gain strength to be active again.
Loneliness can be so debilitating and it is not about being alone as you know so well.
Thank you so much for your appreciation and presence here. ❤️
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Nicely done!
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Thanks a lot, Dwight.
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You are welcome!
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“green, moist moss of loneliness in my chest” – the beauty of these words hooked me deep and you continued with similar exquisite choice of words throughout your poem, I absolutely loved immersing in.
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Pragalbha, I am grateful that you liked my choice of words. Thank you so much for telling me it was an immersive experience. ❤️
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This is a lovely write and resonates deeply.
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Thanks so much, Helen. Though I do wish it had not resonated.
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Encantada de conocerte. Seguiré atenta, siempre que encuentre momento.
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Thank you kindly.
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Beautiful poignant duplex, Punam. You handled this form effortlessly x
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Thanks a lot, dear. It went much darker than intended.
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Sometimes, you have to let it go there. It always resonates with someone somewhere x
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That’s very true…
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Beautifully done
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Thank you!
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💔💕💕… 😊👌🏼
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❤️❤️🙏🏼🤗
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