Lonesome (a quadrille)

All alone, with my eyes closed
I sense you quietly coming
and sitting across
I can feel your bourbon eyes
intense with passion
resting on me.

Startled, I open my eyes
a curtain flutters,
the cold draught makes me shiver
and my lips quiver.

Written for dVerse. Today’s host, Merril, says: Use shiver–or some form of the word—in a poem of exactly 44 words. The form is up to you. Shiver in rhyme, or shiver in free verse. Shiver in the past, present, or future

72 thoughts on “Lonesome (a quadrille)

  1. Oh! So romantic although the ending is tragic! This is how I had imagined I would meet the love of my life – our eyes meeting across a coffee shop…alas, our meeting was quite different, even though the end result was the same.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh wowza–I LOVE that you use bourbon as an eye color…or maybe I misread it…maybe it’s inebriated passion? In any event, 5-Star! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It is intoxicating indeed–and Yes, whiskey eyes wouldn’t have been nearly as aesthetic and effective!! You’re the Best!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Punam this is so beautiful, powerful, at once sensual and desperately stark, and sad….when I read poems of such quality I am not able to – nor do I want to – read another poem for a while, as I let it all sink in. I can still feel that loneliness…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ain, I am humbled you read so much that I couldn’t fit in 44 words. Thank you ever so much for your beautiful compliment. I think I will just sit back and savour your words before responding to others.

      Like

  4. I thought I saw a bat fluttering out the open window, Punam. A visit from a vampire, perhaps? I don’t know why it struck me this way. The “bourbon eyes” reminded me of the bloodshot eyes of vampires in movies, I think! I enjoyed reading this, even if I got it wrong. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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