Finding equilibrium (OctPoWriMo) (dVerse)

(From Pexel)

Day 7

Prompt: Finding balance

Form: Cadralor

1.Your calloused hand in my soft one
the give and the take, not discernable
life flowing
from my hand to yours. And vice versa.
But the give sometimes more than the take.

2. I waltz with my shadow, my darkness
it lets me revel in my light that
shines as bright can be
fiery flame fights ghostly gloominess
teetering on the edge of an abyss

3. As the vegetables sizzle and simmer in the pan
the laundry is folded methodically and mechanically
my tea sits neglected and undrunk
regret is the bitter pill I refuse to swallow
but today some random thoughts make me feel antsy

4. The moon sighs at the signal for her to fade away
the lord of the day is about to ascend
she longs to stay and shout her love for
the giver of light, in whose
reflection she glows and basks

5.Juggling, balancing on the seesaw, ropewalking
seemed like stunts performed for applause
never interested me as a kid
swinging between sanity and insanity
I wish I had learnt a few of those tricks.

Written for MTB at dVerse. Today’s host Björn has asked us to write a Cadralor inspired by Jane Dougherty’s verse a few days ago.

70 thoughts on “Finding equilibrium (OctPoWriMo) (dVerse)

  1. Of all the attempts (we’re all learning) at a cadralor I’ve read so far for the dverse prompt, this one comes closest to the spirit of the form as I understand it. The ‘link’ between the stazas is discreet, subtle, and the stanzas are all short poems, different in tone, that can stand alone. You also numbered the stanzas which is a rule most didn’t notice. The only thing that I’d say needed tightening up in the last two stanzas is the number of lines. The stanzas really ought to have the same number of lines and it somehow jars when they’re different lengths, especially the important last stanza. I’m no expert, but I haven’t seen any that break that rule even though it’s not a hard and fast one.

    Liked by 5 people

      1. I’m glad you don’t mind me pointing that out. I think Björn should have directed us to Gleam to read all the instructions on how to write a cadralor, and what it’s about. Also to read some examples. Most of our attempts wouldn’t be called cadralor by the people who invented it so I don’t think it’s very helpful just to dole out praise willy-nilly. It’s hard to get it right, and I’m still learning though I’ve written a lot of them. For what it’s worth, I think yours comes very close 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I absolutely don’t mind, Jane! In fact I would be very grateful if in future I am told where to make changes. I have already done so in the last two stanzas.
        I think Björn did provide the link and I read a few examples before I wrote this. But was still quite unsure about the outcome.
        This is my first attempt. It will take some more attempts to get close to what I read there. I truly appreciate what you have said. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’ve read your revisions, and just a few tweaks have made all the difference! I”d say you’ve got the idea of what the cadralor is about, and it’s a question of practice now. It’s a great form, I think, when you know what you’re trying to get out of it 🙂
        Apologies to Björn. I hadn’t read the post properly.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Thanks a lot, once again. I have had no formal training in creative writing but am very passionate about the craft, still a learner and all suggestions help me do that. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I don’t have any formal training either, but like you, I’m keen to learn, and ‘get it right’. All formal poetry has rules. If I don’t want to follow the rules, I don’t use that form.

        Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh you’re good at all forms of poetry. It’s always a pleasure to read your poems. The best thing is that though you use elaborate phrases and words to adorn your poetry, I always understand it on the first reading. It’s a wonderful quality, the clarity and simplicity. Some poets are very good but not easily understood!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Sadje, my writing is very linear. I can’t purposely complicate things. I admire complex writing, I’ll be in awe of surreal imagery but if a poem doesn’t speak to me ….
        Like me, my poems are straightforward. 😄 Thanks once again. 🙏🏼❤️

        Liked by 2 people

  2. you obviously tightened up the line count … aren’t you lucky to get Jane’s blessing!

    Sounds like an ordinary day in the life of a poetic housewife and mother … masterfully pieced together 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I did, Kate. Yes, I am so lucky that Jane pointed out the areas I needed to tweak.
      I don’t have nature and its beauty surrounding me so I always turn inwards and my home and hearth has always provided the inspiration, however mundane. 🙂
      Thanks a lot, sis.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. not so mundane, I believe that’s what resonates so deeply with all your readers and those who haven’t yet discovered you!

        I am blessed to have nature on my doorstep and am not by any means a domestic goddess … so I simply resort to what inspires me. And fortunately my lack of domesticity is not on view 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. These are all wonderful Punam. I’m far from being any sort of expert in this sort of writing but for me you’ve evoked imagery, emotion, thought, rhythmic prose and a subtle link to each stanza. Beautifully done.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I think you’ve done a fine job with this form, Punam: I love all of your contrasting images and how the last stanza unites them. It’s such a fun form to work with, isn’t it? ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I love that – refusing to live with regret, and yet the sadness is allowed to show and naturally so, a life lived. But also the reflection of other possibilities, very moving.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. You paint the seesaw which is both our inner selves of light and dark, and the interaction and emotions we have with others deftly here, each stanza showing us another facet of those relationships, with the final both rueful and appreciate summing up. Looks to me like you both nailed the form, and used it to express your thoughts/feelings well.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I absolutely love this especially; “The moon sighs at the signal for her to fade away the lord of the day is about to ascend.” Stunning write 💝💝

    Liked by 1 person

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