I am an unwelcome intruder in my own citadel
my diligently built fortress run over by night crawlers
a glare, a scowl, a stare
I slink back sheepishly to nowhere!
Bent busily over their machines, they go about their operations
making me feel utterly useless and unwanted as they finish their assignments
the day time squatters of my prime property
banish me from my own domain with alacrity!
No laundry, no dishes, no talking or sleeping
mute and invisible, hands on for trouble shooting
I am their safety valve but the roiling in my inner
like the pressure cooker on constant simmer!
The dark night of my soul has never been darker than now
there seems no heuristic approach
I need a break from the cacophony of familial obligations
I look for satisfaction, am tired of reconciliations!
I don’t care what’s right or wrong
I won’t try to understand
let the devil take tomorrow
But tonight I need a friend and how!
The answers are all there within for a picking
no matter the darkness all around
chin jutting out, head held high
I embark on inwards journey with a sigh.
The doors are dark and open with difficulty
the burgeoning clouds of despair mar my sight
yet I espy clear sky, onwards I move resolutely
In 2021 I wake up to redefining my identity.