The tortured soul writhed in protest

the tormented heart wept unseen

the mind in turmoil raged thus caged

then barked out orders to the hand to spill ink

incoherent thoughts framed

in a chaotic and disorderly writing

staining pages in anguish

the path ahead seemed split and mired in darkness

causing her untold distress

cutting her to the quick

yet she had fallen on her knees in gratitude

for the breath that still rattled her frail body.

Eugi’s Weekly Prompt “Gratitude” June 1, 2020


67 thoughts on “Breath

  1. Punam, this was incredible! Such powerful lines, gorgeous metaphors…… WOW. How beautifully and painfully you have described a person being tortured. The play of words is so fabulous! I loved this❤❤🌺🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The juxtaposition of the beginning of the poem with its finale is breathtaking.
    “yet she had fallen on her knees in gratitude
    for the breath that still rattled her frail body.”
    Beautiful work Punam. I don’t know what else to say. It resonates so much with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It is hard to sometimes to find the words to express the turmoil within..and sometimes being able to just write is to be able to just breathe…another well written poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. yet she had fallen on her knees in gratitude

    Really loved this. Indeed, Allah subhanahu wata’aala has blessed us with so much. We must be thankful for it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The catharsis of writing is so eloquently and powerfully stated here. The images in your poem (as well as your use of the prompts, of course) is so masterfully done! Another winner, Punam!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We are blessed to have some outside space – my youngest is finally learning to ride a two-wheeler! And of course, there is always electronics…(sigh)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Having outside space is a blessing. I can’t send my younger one to bike in the residential complex because physical distancing seems like an alien concept to him! 🙄
        Yeah, there is always electronics…sigh…
        I hear ya sister…

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Last night I read several poems on your page….and wrote a long comment on drama of life (sorry, my summarization is always poor), but it evaporated into the websky once I had attempted to upload…let it remain in the space…unseen and unread…
    Here is another poem that touched my soul for a different reason…its form changing with emotions…first a few lines with eight stresses and last a few lines with 12 stresses…in between shorter spells…all together it doesn’t carry a structured meterage as common to modern poetry, but there is an adorable flow of ripples…
    I sailed through it in a liesurely manner as if I had been enjoying the agony with a dream that it had already vanished or it didn’t bear any power more to suppress rebellious emotions….and I landed on an island of peace, where life had the comfort of blessings…the privilege of being…the sense of belonging to the core…that all senses of anguish or pleasure in material experience are all so illusive, distracting and injurious to the sense that resides deep within…the sole light…the soul light…the truth….like breath, an invisible companion of life….at the end, the poem took us to there…there it found the grace…there it laid the gratitude…
    Much pleasure to read !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Please accept my apologies for the late reply. Your comments are so detailed, it is a pleasure to go through them leisurely. Your insights are deep and profound and I end up reading my own words in new light.
      You are very kind with your praise. Thank you so much. Please know that your visits are much awaited.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.