Today a young, successful actor in India committed suicide. The reasons are not known and maybe will never be actually known.
The room is full of people; clinking glasses and laughter
I have thousands of followers on twitter
everyday I get so many likes
my whatsapp is always buzzing
but I am feeling so empty inside.
I have an opinion on everything
my insta is updated every hour
I Photoshop my pics to my liking
I follow all who matter in the showbiz
but why am I so unhappy tonight?
My parents are simple people
I am too ambitious for them
my bff too is a small town person
who wants to be bigger than me
I have scores of work friends
we hang out everyday after work
but I have no one with whom
I can share all that troubles me.
I have to be ahead and better
I can not lose this race
I have to beat others at any cost
I can’t bear to be a laggard
I have to have all I can have
and then some more to top it up
but whatever I have acquired till now
gives me no pleasure any more.
No one knows the real me
no one cares for my feelings
no one can hear when I cry within
No one has time for me
I myself have completely lost touch
with the person I actually was.
I want to lie down for a while
I want to cry my heart out tonight
I want to scream and be heard
I want answers to my whys
But most of all I want to be just me
I am tired of not being me
I want to curl up and die.