He tossed the crumpled goodbye
carelessly in her lap
and just as the sun dives into the ocean
for the evening dip
he jauntily walked out of her life
crashing the front door loudly
crushing her tender dreams
on the rough, gravel path
looking out of her backdoor
all she could see was sweltering darkness
not a speck of light to guide her
with satin smooth lily hands
she nervously removed the creases
and folded the goodbye neatly
to tuck it between
the synapses of life before and after his arrival
the ache that refused to die
held her spine rigid
the tears that pooled at the corner of her eyes
congealed into clear film over her skin
the frozen half smile coming unstuck
encased her grief forever.
A poignant poem Punam.
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Thanks a lot, Sadje.
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You’re welcome 😉
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Well done. You sense his callousness in the beginning. The sort of it was all a fling/joke etc type of air. With her is the deep grief that she is feeling/falling into. Loved it. 🙂
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Aww! I am glad that came through. Thanks a lot, Jay-lyn. ❤️
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Oh, my dear Punam, this is so beautiful . The pain engulfs the reader. You should try to publish this. It’s heart.
🌸❤️💕
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Thank you so much, G. I will surely send it out. I am touched by your appreciation. 🌷💞
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My pleasure, sweetheart.
xoxo
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❤️❤️
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❤️❤️❤️
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Beautiful. Love it 💖
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Thank you so much, my dear. 💞
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I so love this poem. Have you forgotten to submit?
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Indeed I have! Thanks for the reminder my dear. Will send it out right away.
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I love these lines:
“and just as the sun dives into the ocean
for the evening dip
he jauntily walked out of her life”
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Thank you so much. It just seemed apt to describe his going away. I am glad you liked it. ❤️
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❤🌹
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🙏🏼🌷💞
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💐💕
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Awww Punam. This is heartbreakingly amazing. That folded up goodbye… and the ending
“the frozen half smile coming unstuck encased her grief forever.”
So evocative, you have captured that immense feeling of loss contained in a goodbye so beautifully ❤️❤️
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Yes, some goodbyes are a loss. The one left behind always struggling to come to terms as well as putting up a brave front. Thank you so much, dear Rachel. ❤️❤️
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know you’ve exaggerated this for the prompts but guessing the man has left … can feel your bruises 🙂
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My dear Kate, he dare not leave with a careless goodbye! Goodbyes are heartbreaking for both of us.
This is not about me but your reaction gladdens me because it means I was able to convey the consequences well! Thank you, sis for your concern. 🙂❤️
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I know he wouldn’t dare leave that way … so he’s still there, wow!
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Hopefully till March end.
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yea even better … what a blessing but what a wrench when he has to leave again … sure you never get used to it!
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No, never! 😔
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Beautifully written Punam. Thanks for a glimpse out of your backdoor and into your heart
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Thank you and my pleasure, Brian. Your prompt invited a glimpse inwards. 🙂
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crushing her tender dreams – such a delicate line and I always love discovering these little gems in your writing.
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Aww! You always make me feel special, Gina. Thank you so much.
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❤💕👏🏼🤗
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🤗💞❤️🙏🏼
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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Thanks a lot, Chuck.
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Ah I missed reading this style, the themes taken from prompts but what you build around them are no less than stories on their own.
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And I missed your comments! ❤️
Thank you for reading the stories in between.
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with satin smooth lily hands
she nervously removed the creases
and folded the goodbye neatly
to tuck it between
the synapses of life before and after his arrival
Ab yeh padhkar hum Kya hi kahe
Bus,muhabbat ,behad muhabbat❤️❤️❤️
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Shukriya dear. ❤️💞
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