Day 22: Broken Pieces
I look at my skinned knees
Knees raw from crawling over
Over the jagged edges of reality
Reality which was summarily discarded
Discarded in favour of fantasy
Fantasy which shattered everything
Everything seems lost forever, but…
But now I am retrieving broken pieces of dreams
Dreams thus fragmented, you may say, would do no good
Good times alas seem so far away
Away from my here and today
Today the salt from my eyes may sting these dreams
Dreams that continue to lie prone
Prone and battered out of shape
Shape of my future splintered badly so
So I lay them away from the escarpment
Escarpment which beckons with suicidal notions
Notions that may make them fall off the precipice again
Again to be shattered and scattered all over
Over which I may cry no more but reconcile myself
Myself to the inevitability of stark truths
Truths that stare me in the face, but
But if even one dream manages to resurrect itself
Itself, of its own volition, it will be a reason to revel
Revel because dreams do keep us alive and going.
( Written for OctPoWriMo)
poetry form: Loop poetry
A wonderful poem.
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Thanks a lot, Sadje!
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You’re welcome Punam 😉
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Can relate to this today Punam.
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Aah! Some days are like that. Hope tomorrow is better.
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So true! I’m off to beautiful Esperance tomorrow and always enjoy my time there!
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Have a wonderful day, my dear!
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Thanks, you too.
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Liked the positive ending of the poem Punam. You are a very talented poetess 👍
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Thank you kindly for your words of appreciation, Radhika. Truly humbled. 🙏🏼
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Beyond beautiful
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Where does that come from, Punam? My anger is today …
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I wish I knew, Tracy! Some days are like that.
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deep
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Thanks. 🙂
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That word was supposed to be inserted into the previous comment. It has got to the stage where I have corrections on my corrections.
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Lol got it!
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beautiful loop poetry … keep dreaming girl!
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Thanks a lot, Kate. Dreams are necessary. 🙂
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absolutely for all of us but more crucial for parents, it’s a tough job!
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Amazing loop poem. The last line is full of hope 🙂
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Thank you so much, Sunita. Life is all about hope.
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What a lovely loop poetry Punam…😊
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Thanks a lot, Mich! 😊
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Great loop poem! Well executed and also beautiful!
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Thanks a lot, Barbara. 🙂
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Wow.. this is a beautiful loop poetry..Punam♥️
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Thanks a lot, dear Sarika! ❤️
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Always a pleasure dear 💕
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I love the loop technique. I have seldom seen anyone experiment with sustaining it over so many lines as you did here, so I was quite interested in the effect doing so had on me. I would need to read a couple more poems written in a similar loop fashion to come to any definite conclusions though, but this poem was very interesting indeed.
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This is the first time I am experimenting with the form, Paul. This is my second loop poem this month. Please do read a few more and do let me know how I have done.
You can read my first one here.
https://paeansunpluggedblog.wordpress.com/2019/10/11/silence-where-art-thou/
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Heartfelt, every line, Punam.
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Thanks, Li.
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Oh Wow, oh Wow, oh WOW, poet queen! You do “loop” form incredibly well, effortlessly it seems. And every word resonates within me–such loveliness, and the finale, that “dreams keep us alive and going”. Truly they do…faith and dreams are what keep me intact. Bravo!
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Thank you so much, dear Z! It did kind of flow on its own! I am a positive person so try to end even my darkest poems with some kind of hope. Thanks again! 🙂❤️
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Indeed your positive attitude, and desire to reflect/offer hope, are traits which make you stand out from the crowd. You’ve inspired me to tell the hard truths, but with a redemptive ending–so, many thanks to you, dear poet friend! 🙂 ❤
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You say such wonderfully nice things that I wonder if I truly deserve this kindness! 🙈
Thanks a lot. ❤️❤️🙏🏼
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Of course you deserve every sincere praise!! It’s my pleasure always🙏💙💖💖💖
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Dreams do keep us alive Punam, great poem.
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Indeed! Thanks a lot, Paul.
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My pleasure Punam.
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Hats off dearie.. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼👍🏼😊😊👌🏼👌🏼💕💕
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Debika, you are so generous, my dear! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 🙏🏼☺️😍❤️
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😇💕
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