Today, we’d like to challenge you to write your own sad poem, but one that, like Teicher’s, achieves sadness through simplicity. Playing with the sonnet form may help you – its very compactness can compel you to be straightforward, using plain, small words.
School
The old brick building with grey stucco
has now a coat of garish red.
As I walk, the empty corridors echo
desolation fills me with dread.
The walls have framed pictures of the departed
and the classrooms are an empty shell
It’s a holiday, classes have not started,
I wish I could hear friends’ voices as I hear the bell.
In the changed layout, I look for the tree
under which we used to have lunch
The silent sentinel to our laughter carefree
has made way for a concrete bench.
The library that was once my shrine
I realise ruefully, is no longer mine.
A poignant poem. Captured the feeling of loss very well.
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Thank Sadje. I am glad that came through. 🙏
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Loud and clear.
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👍
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This is drenched with sadness – the treasures and well knowns of childhood, no longer as we remember. Beautiful writing Punam, lovely ❤️
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I had been to my school a couple of years ago and I still remember the tears of joy and sorrow that flowed freely. Thank you so much, my dear. ❤️
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I also did the same a couple of years back. I was shocked by how intimately familiar parts of it felt – the memories came flooding, collecting ants under a certain tree, swirling in circles until we felt sick, playing on the bars until my hands ripped ….. so familiar, and yet so foreign. Kind of bittersweet I guess 💛
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Yes, exactly. This tree was a favourite and I just couldn’t believe it was not there. Bittersweet, definitely!
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It’s like a sign that things have irreversibly changed…
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True… it is not the same and I hug those precious memories close to my heart.
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❤️❤️❤️
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Excellent as always. Feelings expressed very well.
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Thank you so much, Deepak.
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A beautiful, sentimental poem
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Thank you so much, Marieke. ❤️
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You’re welcome
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Poignant.
Btw, all my poems are sad. I can’t help it.
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Yes, I have noticed that and that underlying melancholy makes them beautiful.
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My middle name. 🙂
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Which lends gravitas to your writing. 🙂
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Oh you flatterer you.
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Truth and only the truth.
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🙂
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poignant tribute to our lost youth …
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Yes, Kate…lost youth! Thank you.
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very sad indeed 😦
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We wouldn’t have been here had we not lost our youth…so it’s kinda okay! 😀
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lol a bit like when elderly people complain about ill health …. I say ‘the alternative is worse!
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😂😂
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It is mystifying to me always about how buildings and places in general can spark us into emotion and longing, and you did a great homage to this feeling.
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I guess it is because of the memories associated with them. Thank you so much. I appreciate your presence here.
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even though it seems simple and sad as per the instructions, these words somehow make me feel the innocent happiness of those days and faint echoes of that laughter. loved it, library girl!
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Aww! It is a bag of mixed feelings. Joy and sorrow are never far from each other as far as school memories are concerned. Thank you so much. I like the moniker. 😊
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hehe..like it? now thats a surprise, or is it?
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Is it?
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not anymore, they ask questions when you expect answers
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Lol! It shouldn’t have been a surprise. I thought it was a rhetorical question and answered with one. Happy? 😀
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Yes 😀
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😀😀
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using words like echo conveys the emptiness and sadness, especially for the places you once held dear. i recall with much fondness my own wooden school house and the friends i had then, beautifully sad Punam, some memories need this heaviness
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It is wonderful to have pleasant memories of school. When I visited a couple of years ago, in my naivety I expected it to be the same…thus the heaviness. Thank you so much, Gina for understanding this.
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nothing stays the same, though i wish it would, always a pleasure to read your thoughts my dear
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You have captured the feeling of nostalgia beautifully. 🙂 Feeling nostalgic is a wonderful luxury and then when you actually do go back, it always disappoints. This has happened to me many times 💕😢
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Ah! Story of our lives! Thank you so much, dear. 💞
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You’ve created a wonderful atmosphere of sadness and I love all the word choices to that end. Well done, Punam.
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Aww! Thank you so much, Inky for your wonderful comment. So glad you liked it. 😊❤️
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You are kindly welcome, Punam. 🙂 ❤
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Poignant , yet so beautiful!❤️
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Thanks a lot, Richa! ❤️
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So beautiful, so nostalgic
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Thanks a lot, my friend. ❤️
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My absolute pleasure ❤️❤️
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Truly Nostalgic ❤
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