Every night when I would put my babies to sleep
I would whisper, “you remain you, pure and innocent
don’t let the world tarnish your pristine sheen”
but alas it couldn’t be so!
as they grew up I was the first
to soil their pure soul with a teeny-weeny spot
when I taught them to be wary of strangers
then their teacher crumpled their soul a bit
when she favoured those brighter than them
or when their father reminded them that
they were luckier than others
to have food on their table
gradually as they grew older
someone or the other who was family or friend
tainted their soul bit by bit
and left their mark
branding and distorting their soul
infinitesimally every time
believe me it was all done with good intentions always
for that was our way of teaching values
their well-being the foremost thought
in our collective minds and hearts
now when I see them shying
away from helping strangers
or being discriminatory in their behaviour
I wonder if we did the right thing
in inculcating fear, doubt and guilt in them
so now I dedicate my time helping them
unlearn those feelings that weigh them down
so that there is a spring in their step
and lightness in their heart,
their soul tainted but more accepting
as they embrace life on their own.
We do all that, and that is the programming or pre-learning. It happens before the kids enter their practical lives.
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Yes, so we do.
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😊
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Wow, this really touched me, and yes, we teach them to take care of themselves. It raises good questions for me about how do we do that without squashing the nurturing and selfless side of humanity.
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Exactly! I have been mulling over it for quite sometime. The never ending dilemma! Thank you so much.
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My pleasure
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Beautiful. It is sad show e have to teach safety, but I like that you look for a way for lessons to be learned without instilling fear and intolerance.
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Yes, one has to device ways for them to overcome fear and intolerance. Thank you so much for your presence here.
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This is such profoundly insightful poem, Punam! I recall I was about eight or nine years old, the roof was being replaced and the men had gone home for the day. I was playing on their scaffolding — about five feet off the ground, hanging upside down.
Mom came out of the house and in a voice uncharacteristically fearful and/or deeply concerned told me to be very careful. I can date my fear of heights to that day and moment.
Strange to me now how unusual it was to hear fear in her voice. I can only suppose she was taken by surprise — or perhaps was recalling some accident she’d witnessed or had been involved in.
Such a good poem, Punam! Thank you so much!
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I was not sure I would be able to put across clearly that while safeguarding our kids we instil in them thoughts and feelings that have negative connotations too. Thank you so much Paul for sharing and for giving credence to my worries.
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We sometimes teach them wrong. They should teach us.
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Amen to that, Bojana. Never had kids, but some years ago, I learned so much from a boy and girl I babysat for a friend. For instance, one day the girl, Leah, asked me for a dollar. I had a bit extra, so I gave her one.
She immediately gave it to a homeless person who wasn’t even panhandling. I had not noticed him although he was less than ten feet away. That was the real lesson to me — how often I overlooked homeless people — despite having been one myself.
They boy, Aaron, was just as compassionate and observant as his older sister, but in his own way.
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They teach us all the things we forgot.
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You are so right! We assume as parents it is our duty to teach…how presumptuous, actually!
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It is. I learn more from my son than I’ve ever been taught before.
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Because kids don’t view the world with a jaundiced eye!
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Precisely.
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Lovely thought provoking poem, Punam.
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Thank you so much. Yes, the idea was to have a bit of churning.
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A touching poem that should resonate with every parent.
How do we prepare our flowers for the world if we don’t taint them with our tainted ink?
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And sometimes our taint colours their vision to an extreme! It is a conundrum Andrew. I don’t know what is the right way, I am still working at being a good parent.
Thank you so much for joining in.
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I think like most things in life, the key is balance. Taint gently.
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Thanks for the advice, dear! Balance definitely is the key.
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Oh!! Another profound gem here Punam. There are so many balancing acts to juggle as a parent, this resonated very strongly with me ❤️. Children are both so resilient and so vulnerable. The mama bear instinct is ferocious, and it’s easy to become “overprotective”. It’s heartbreaking when children become wary of themselves and the world, and especially when their belief in themselves is knocked. Sigh. The challenges and never-ending anxiety and ferocious love of parent-hood. Awesome post. x R
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Thank you so much, R. As a parent one keeps wondering if what one is doing is right or not , more so in the times we live. Voicing these concerns and listening to other parents helps one to correct course. Once again thank you, for adding your voice to it. ❤️
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Yup, it’s not easy. I always believe in following your instincts when it comes to parenting. Have a great weekend ❤️
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Following instincts always holds one in good stead. Thank you ❤️
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parenthood is tough and if we knew the ‘right’ way we would give the book to every eleven year old!
Having worked in child protection for years, stranger danger is exceedingly rare … most harm comes from those close. Family or friends who with comments or intention harm their souls or touch their private parts …
There is no right answer but if I had feared strangers or differences I could not have travelled so broadly mostly hitching and camping across the continents … they may miss so much enriching joy 😦
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I agree Kate. It is usually family or friends who turn predators. But here abduction and kidnapping is a real threat too. Kids have been kidnapped on their way home/school.
There is no right way to bring up kids and our times were lesser fraught with dangers or may be our parents did not overthink every situation. That is why the things we did, I don’t allow my kids to do!
As always your inputs are precious. 🙂
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this is something I have so little experience in so I only share what I know … 😦
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Kidnappings are something new here too. Boys in late teens or early twenties think it is an easy way to make money! ☹️
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oh how wretched, terrifying for everyone involved.
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It’s terrible Kate.
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😦 😦 😦
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You thought about this itself proves that you are a wonderful parent🤗
Every parent can relate to this poem 💛
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Thanks a lot dear, I did hope most parents would feel this way. 🤗💞
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The problem with parents is that they overthink when it comes to their children, these young unblemished souls will get the taint no matter what the parents do and they will learn/unlearn or form opinions on their own as they grow, just like the parents did. I guess the most one can do is to introduce the children to the good and the bad about the world in equanimity.
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Yes. Ideally kids should be left to their own devices and be taught (if at all) by example. But since we hardly lead exemplary lives…
Thanks a lot for you inputs ESP. Much appreciated.
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The life of a profound poet on WP
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🙄 Are you by any chance talking about me?
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Of course, but now that you ask I am not sure if you put on the cloak and mask to go save the world when not writing poetry
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Gosh! How did you guess that! I am a masked crusader by day and moonlight as a so called poet! Lol
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😮 I was joking, would never have guessed. how does one call you when in distress?write a poem and post?
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Yup! Or send smoke signals…old fashioned way! 😂😂
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😂🤣 😂
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Such is the world now – a beautiful piece
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Thank you kindly for your read.
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My pleasure
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Great post, My Dear! One has to be careful about what we pass on to our children to be sure!! I had to raise my two daughters to be super careful around strangers as there were numerous abductions of young girls. Sometimes you have to balance certain values against others. I chose safety first, but also taught them about the Good Samaritan too.
Xoxoxo
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Thank you so much for sharing this, Chuck. Yes, we have to teach them to be careful, at the same time not to view everyone alike! And of course to be compassionate.
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Yes, you are so right. It’s harder to teach discernment without prejudice!! Have a great day!
xoxoxo
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You too!
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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Thank you kindly.
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Always happy to share your posts with followers, My Dear!!
xoxoxo
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Lucky are those who have such parents to help them unlearn. Many go through life always wary of the world around them. Beautifully written, Punam.
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Trying to keep compassion alive in them. Thank you kindly.
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It’s a wonderful thing to do. You are kindly welcome.
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🙏
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I totally agree…We, all, need to focus on the things like self love, self worth and how kindness is the strongest virtue….💙
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Yes, indeed! Thank you so much for reading. ❤️
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My pleasure..! It’s a beautiful read..💙
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🙏🏼🙂
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