Meeting old friends is so good for the soul,
Catching up with the past keeps you on a roll.
As the years advance I tend to forget, I am afraid,
I think I am experiencing a memory fade!
Did you ask me not to anyone tell?
Or was it X who dropped this bombshell?
That A’s actually tearing her hair
Her daughter with a married man is having an affair!
Of course I know dearie, not to spill the beans
That the face and the figure on which B preens
Is thanks to liposuction and plastic surgery,
Telling me this is surely not committing perjury!
Discussion regarding C’s husband’s sacking does not arise
For it is known to all, though they may pretend otherwise.
My lips are sealed about D’s gay son
Though she bitches about me without reason!
And didn’t someone mention that E is a serial womaniser?
He shouldn’t be trusted with anyone’s daughter!
Not that it makes any difference to me
F is a total gossip monger with a capital “G”!
H acts all hoity toity but has the dirtiest mind
J posts double meaning messages and poses to be kind.
Did anyone tell you K is actually frigid?
And bringing up her kids with rules that are rigid.
Sweetie, I am not really interested in what others do
But M left her husband for a younger beau
Don’t laugh at this but it is also true
N is living in with an older frau!
P’s case actually takes the cake
Her m-i-l sleeps in their room and so she stays awake!
Now I am not interested in others affairs
My lips are sealed about the secrets we share.
Maybe I got mixed up regarding a name here or there
But the truth remains as it were.
Now don’t tell anyone I told you all this and more
After all how can we speak ill of our friends of yore
Trust me when I tell you my lips are sealed and stamped
Have I told a soul you got breast implants?