Falling in love

If I had one more heart

I would readily give it to you

And to you, you and

perhaps to you too!

But you see, the one I had, is already taken

Yet everyday, I keep falling in love

unplanned and spontaneously

my senses so easily enraptured

I fall in love with your sunrise

I fall in love with my dusk

I fall in love with traditional cooking

When the heady aromas envelop

I romance aromatic baking

For it brings a smile on my kids’ faces

Makes my home smell heavenly

And store bought cookies replaces

I fall in love with the angelic tangle of arms and legs

now asleep without a care

Whose sibling rivalry and revelry fill my home and heart

As well as my life and soul

I fall in love with your words, your turn of phrase

What you say and what you leave unsaid

I fall in love with the verses that reach out to me,

The stories that only your mind can create

Your unique experience that you kindly share

I fall in love with the pictures of blooms and pets you send

I fall in love with the magic of movies

And their world of wondrous make- believe

I fall in love with many a books

Their life like characters and their authors

And the belief and conviction that they portray

I fall in love with the music I listen to,

The singer, the writer and the musician

I fall in love with the raindrops falling

The overcast skies and the crescent moon

I fall in love hopelessly and completely everyday

And as my whimsical heart waxes and wanes in love

The one who captured my heart many moons ago

Sits in a corner looking indulgently

At the shenanigans of my wayward heart

He draws me close and holds my hand and says

” Your heart is not my captive, let it love and love freely

As long as I have a place in your heart

Accommodate as many loves as you can”

Thus, in freeing my heart, he captures it again.

A harangued homemaker holds forth

I am taken aback by the hiss of dissent
an angry spluttering follows
splattering me with icy coldness
on this mellow winter morning!

I try again
this time there is empty noise
the hissing continues
with a bit of frothing at the mouth!

I exclaim loudly in anger
muttering profanities under my breath
I should have taken the nut brown appearance yesterday
as a portent of things to come!

The tear shaped drop hanging precariously
clinging for life to the faucet
seems to smirk at my tears of frustration
adding to the unmitigated covid anxieties!

We don’t get any snow
nor was there scheduled repair work
how dare the water I take for granted
play hooky at will to throw my life out of gear!

Frantic calls hither and thither
reveal the vile, bitter truth
the rising ammonia levels had forced
the water board to halt the supply!

The dry tap seemed to mock me
reprimanding me for my callousness
had I had a strategy and been a prudent user
I wouldn’t have faced this shortage!

The sink full of dirty dishes look on defiantly
(I had not done them inspired by Susi!)
leery laundry languished
my home suddenly looked a mess!

With a sigh I flop down dejected
glad that the rest of the flock was snugly asleep
without the morning cuppa
my mind still in the realm of foggy understanding!

I send prayers to the lord I don’t believe in
I rashly promise to be more woke
I mentally tie a knot
to remember to store water henceforth!

As the arms of the clock inch closer
to the time of wfh schedule
I make one more trip to the tap
to cajole it to spring forth!

And miracles of miracle!
water gurgles grudgingly, then gushes
taking mercy on my predicament
I sink at the sink with heartfelt thankfulness.

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2021/01/14/reenas-exploration-challenge-168/

( If the poem doesn’t make much sense, please tap on the link above for the challenge for which it was written)

WTH, WFH!

I am an unwelcome intruder in my own citadel
my diligently built fortress run over by night crawlers
a glare, a scowl, a stare
I slink back sheepishly to nowhere!

Bent busily over their machines, they go about their operations
making me feel utterly useless and unwanted as they finish their assignments
the day time squatters of my prime property
banish me from my own domain with alacrity!

No laundry, no dishes, no talking or sleeping
mute and invisible, hands on for trouble shooting
I am their safety valve but the roiling in my inner
like the pressure cooker on constant simmer!

My feelings crest and crash regularly
delight on a vacation, sleep is of late, a foe
restlessness and angst come and go
I laugh, live and love despite the gnawing hollow!

The dark night of my soul has never been darker than now
there seems no heuristic approach
I need a break from the cacophony of familial obligations
I look for satisfaction, am tired of reconciliations!

I don’t care what’s right or wrong
I won’t try to understand
let the devil take tomorrow
But tonight I need a friend and how!

The answers are all there within for a picking
no matter the darkness all around
chin jutting out, head held high
I embark on inwards journey with a sigh.

The doors are dark and open with difficulty
the burgeoning clouds of despair mar my sight
yet I espy clear sky, onwards I move resolutely
In 2021 I wake up to redefining my identity.

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2021/01/07/reenas-exploration-challenge-167-2/

VJ’s Weekly Challenge: What Pulls on Your Soul?

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2021/01/08/help-me-make-it-through-the-night-challenge-173/

What do you see # 64

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

“At times, our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” – Albert Schweitzer

I cannot reiterate enough how many times last year blogger friends helped me directly or indirectly, through their comments or posts to face the uncertainties of last year.The blogging community helped me stay sane in these insane times. Anyone who takes time to visit my site, read my poems has my utmost gratitude. I usually try to write a gratitude post once a year but this year it is also going to be an appreciation and acknowledgement post inspired by VJ”s weekly challenge.

VJ, thank you for this challenge and I wish you good health and best of luck with your memoirs.

I would like to especially thank the following for having my back, encouraging me, empathising with me and just being there. (I am going in alphabetical order)

To Bojana…. Let me confess, I am in awe of your talent. Our writing styles are very different but we feel the same way about a lot of things. You have been instrumental in some of my works getting published by always sharing details of various publishing journals. I am indebted for it. I wish you good health and hope to see your book published soon.

To Debika…You are such a pure soul and your support from almost the very beginning has meant a lot. I cherish our friendship. I wish you happiness and I do hope no one hurts you with their insensitivity.

To Gabriela… I am amazed at how you find time to stay in touch with all your followers, leaving amazing comments, get published, write gorgeous posts and teach! Your comments always mean a lot. I wish you good health and I do hope to see your novel published this year.

To Kate…Know that your perceptive presence as well as your rock solid support in my life is much appreciated, sis. I value your push towards getting my poems published. In fact I admire your unstinting support to so many bloggers! I wish you are able to sell your little house soon and that you continue to shine your light on others.

To Tracy… I would like you to know comment-chats with you are always treasured. I so love your mosaics and find nothing untidy about your mind. Your writing is very cogent. I wish this year and all the coming years are good, health and anxiety wise. I do hope you write more poetry this year.

It would not be right if I don’t mention some other bloggers I admire and am grateful to.

Thank you, Irma, for being who you are. I so value your integrity and commitment to causes that mean so much to me too. Your verses always resonate.

Thank you Sadje for always finding time to read and comment. Know that I am so grateful for your appreciation.

Thank you Victoria Ray, Heather, Megha Sood, Matt for being there from almost the beginning. You all are very special. Heather your appreciation is held in high regard.

Thank you David R for your encouragement when I needed it the most and your continued visits.

Thanks a lot Chuck for your reblogs.

Thank you, Jim. I started writing multi prompt poetry inspired by your posts.

Thank you Ivor, Li, Paul C and Paul S, Shantanu, Sakshi, Miriam, Nina, Nadine, Eugenia, Fiery, Moushmi, Jenna, Mich, Pallavi, Sarika, Kritika, Christine Bolton, Satyen, Ishita, Aishwarya, Usha, Priya, Jude, Jeff, Jen, Val, Cheryl, Roshni, Nima, Jaya, Richa, Chris, Goutam, Little Charmer, Reena, David A, Lia for leaving wonderful, heartwarming comments.

Thank you also Robyn, Irene, Ruth, IJ, Fandango,Nayana, Anjali, Pragti, Sonia, SaphilopeS, Dr.Juri, Mel, AJ, Lluìs, Soumitra, Lidia, Susie, Jennifer, Bombay Ficus, Sumeet, Susi, Eric, Shaunak, Carol, Jay-lyn, Prerna, Samreen, Saania, Angela, Vall and Lorraine.

Thanks all others who occasionally visit or comment.

I miss Inky and Gina, who have left blogging. They were a great inspiration. I miss Rachel, Andrew, ESP, Yasmin and Parikhit who are not blogging these days. I am also missing Avia/Zael/ L sorely.

I may have missed a few names. I am deeply sorry for that. Please know that I blog because I want to share my writing. I love getting feedback and connecting with fellow bloggers. I know some of you are not very comfortable with conversations here or don’t have time, I appreciate your likes. I also understand if you don’t like a post, because if it does not resonate or is not like worthy, you shouldn’t like it.

Thank you, all of you. Please keep giving me your honest feedback.

Torment

Secrets, like bile, rise to her throat
corroding it completely

the barbed wire texture lends raspiness to her voice

she pushes them down with a tablet for acidity

shame keeps tumbling out of her innards

her skin, tired of containing it, sags

she lives behind curtains

covering herself in diaphanous shadows

her limpid pools threaten to spill her pain

she shutters them with blankness

glassy-eyed to the world

as she sits to sew a quilt of comfort
stabbing the needle fervently

her fingers spill blood forming marbled patterns

she draws a rainbow on the cold mosaic floor

black clouds gather in the skies threateningly

her words are starved of oxygen

she dare not let them breathe in paper

fearing their mutiny

her mind is a minefield of morbid melancholy
she laughs throatily lest it explodes.

The promise

You had promised under the tangerine setting sun
a return to my waiting arms on the last train home
after your restless, gallivanting days were done!

so every night I stood watching the cold bare tracks
never baulking at the wastrels skulking in the shadows
hoping the alcohol hazed promise wouldn’t recede under cracks!

like a mental afterimage that refuses to perish
I remained an incomplete, unfinished neglected poem
waiting endlessly for that final stanza with flourish!

I finally accept I had been deluding myself you were mine
scattering my corroded memories in the wake of the last train,
I take a deep, dispassionate look at the station, one last time.

What do you see # 63 – January 4, 21

What do you see, 2020?

On the cusp of the changeover

as you look at your reflection, 2020,

what do you see?

do you see disease, death and despair

dithering decisions, deplorable delays

drunken dawdling of depraved desperation,

depressingly dud deliberations,

dropping deeper into the dungeon of despondency

domestic drudgery and drowsiness dominating

the moments of delight dodging longevity

raving, ranting and regretting

when everything and nothing overwhelmed

and selfishness supremely reigned!

Or do you see nature coming into its own once again

family times, selflessness and gratitude

the tireless toils of the committed

giving freely and helping the helpless

time to ponder, to see the larger picture

to realise the worthlessness of the proud “I am”

to hold precious stillness and the quiet

ephemerality never more obvious

than in the moments spent in introspection

getting in touch with all aspects of self; good, unseen and carefully hidden

accepting the reality with equanimity

rising above the humdrum to connect at a higher plane!

Or all you see is the sameness

that happens eerily year after year

the ever moving cycle of life crushing a few

and taking forward the doughty rest

do you think you were a necessary pause

a lesson that humanity had forgotten

a test that earthlings had to take

will it tiptoe in quietly like you did

will there be a big bang of change

2020 do you see 2021 following your footsteps

or will it breakaway cleanly from your shackles

will it be the same old dawn

or the dawning of a new era, you too are not privy to!

What do you see # 62 – December 28th 2020

Wishing my blogging family a very happy new year! May it be a year of good health, contentment and peace for all.

My inner child

(Unleashing the ten year old me…)

English is so confusing and confounding, o lord!

I think I’ll go crazy studying it, egad!

The table has two pairs of legs but refuses to walk

The chair has arms but can only rock!

The hands of the clock are useless there

For neither can they clap nor comb my hair!

The comb has innumerable teeth yet cannot bite

Whereas the shoe has only a tongue but still manages to bite!

The ear of corn is the most useless of all

It can never ever hear when I give a call!

The heart of the artichoke never ever beats

The nose of the aeroplane surprisingly never leaks!

Oh mom, please help me I will go crazy

For there’s frog in my throat and butterflies in my tummy!

Now, don’t you lose temper or harangue

Mom! I think that the cat has got your tongue!

What do you see # 61 – 21st December 2020

Ugly truths

“inkblots mutate
to form pictures,
alphabets,
stories
I did not create”

In my mind’s eye
the words are perfectly aligned
arranged and arraigned
tasked to perform prettily
when I sit down to spill ink
they assume shapes of their own
writing stories I did not dictate!

Photo by mikoto.raw from Pexels

https://reinventionsreena.wordpress.com/2020/12/17/reenas-exploration-challenge-166/

Year end clean up

The year had dawned like the previous one

usual fanfare but nothing unusual about its arrival

then the pandemic dropped like a bomb

leaving us all verklempt and uncertain

but I have had enough and am determined

to exterminate this year completely

the last few days of the abominable year lurk slyly

I can no longer procrastinate the clean up

so with a broom and a dust pan in hand

I am going from room to room of my mind

to clean up the mess of this year

behind the door I find a spider web

entangled in it is a half dead romance

which floundered in the enforced separation

under the bed amidst the dust motes

are some old and many new regrets

shuffling from one corner to the other

restless, rudderless and remorseless

hidden behind some old ill-fitting clothes in the closet

are a mound of expectations which remained unfulfilled

they still look at me with accusing eyes

hoping to bear fruition

my complexes sit under the table glaring balefully

daring me to acknowledge and accept them

there is a box in the loft , filled with stench

I open it, to be shrouded in a miasma of anger

anger of discontent brewing for nine months

on the coffee table is an overturned tea cup

with the dregs of grudges still clinging to it

I vacuum the old threadbare carpet

the dust bag is filled with hidden pain

and out tumble a pile of vile secrets

shoved under during the year

when I pick an old shoe box

I find unremarkable memories lying prone and neglected

unremembered and unappreciated

some stale anxieties are lying in the fridge

along with some frozen revenge

the colony of complains run helter skelter

caught unawares by my determined broom

cussed stubbornness is hiding in a drawer

refusing to budge even an inch

comparisons lie under the quilt

and depression keeps skulking in the shadows

impetuous judgement sits on my favourite chair

staring at me disdainfully

thank god bigotry lay wilted

‘cos I am forgetful about watering plants

lethargy and fatigue require adroit scrubbing

they have cunningly ensconced themselves to the point of invisibility

I pick each one and shove them into a biodegradable bag

I could have just thrown them into the trash can

but these slimy snakes would have slithered back

so I make a bonfire of them all

and stand guard, till each burns down to cinders

then I immerse the ashes in the fast flowing stream of life

to take them as far away from me as possible

a great burden has been lifted from my heart

I know they will soon return in some other form

I don’t expect anything fancy or highbrow from the new year

just yearn for some rustic simplicity, good old joy,

a little hope, much love and lasting contentment.